Nat Locke: Tim Tams, Sheridan sheets, Chippy Salt, Milo and pumpkin soup all on the Aussie expat wishlist

I don’t want to sound dramatic but by the time you’re reading this . . .

No, I haven’t been kidnapped, but I am in Switzerland. At least, I should be. Let’s never forget that time my 17-hour direct flight to London was diverted to Singapore for a medical emergency and the 17 hours blew out to 48. Still, the medical emergency guy survived, so it was all worth it. Could that happen to me again? Rest assured, you’ll be hearing about it if it does.

Anyhoo. Let’s presume I have made it, because I have deliveries to make.

It’s my own fault. I offered. I’m visiting a friend who lives in Switzerland now and I asked her if she wanted me to bring anything that she might be missing. You know. Vegemite and the like.

And that was when my mate informed me that her Swiss friends absolutely love Tim Tams. Because apparently living in a country that makes some of the best chocolate in the world is not enough for them. Is it horribly clichéd? Yes. Did I take them anyway? Also yes. Am I now some sort of Tim Tam mule? Absolutely.

That’s not all, though. I’m also carrying another package for a friend’s sister-in-law. Somewhat mystifyingly, she has requested two silk eye masks from Bed, Bath N’ Table, and I’m happy to deliver them in exchange for a guided tour of Interlaken. Everyone’s a winner.

But it got me wondering. What else do people request when someone is travelling from Australia? So I did a survey.

A friend who used to live in Dubai has to load up on Chippy Salt and ETA Original Barbecue Sauce whenever she goes back for a visit, such is the desperation of her expat friends. So now, of course, I feel an overwhelming urge to buy both of these things to see what I’m missing out on.

I have an Irish friend whose mother requested that she buy a heap of Sheridan sheets when she was in Australia, which certainly stretches the luggage limits a bit. Additionally, this Irish friend requests tins of pumpkin soup, because she reckons she can’t get it at home. The country who presumably successfully embraced potato soup never made the logical leap to soup-ifying pumpkin. It wasn’t until she was a tourist in our fine land that she discovered the joys of a bowl of the good orange stuff.

And this one might have been a few years ago, but whenever he was visiting his sister in Los Angeles, one guy had to stuff a bunch of Vileda non-scratch scourer sponges into his bag. His sister had very specific dishwashing needs, it would seem. She also requested a very particular deodorant that she hadn’t been able to find anywhere in the entire city of LA.

Another friend who has lived in Croatia for many years expressed her delight at a care package from home that contained such delicacies as Allen’s lollies, Peck’s anchovette paste, Massel stock cubes, Smith’s chips, Milo, Twisties and Cadbury chocolate.

The weird thing about that list is that Peck’s anchovette paste was made in South Africa anyway. Also, in case you’re suddenly craving it, you might want to indulge soon, because the company is considering discontinuing it because they say, and I quote, “people no longer have an appetite for minced fish preserved in a jar”. In fact, some of us never had an appetite for it, but enough about me.

Anyway, I digress. Back to Milo. An English woman in an airport queue once confessed to me that her carry on luggage was mostly full of Milo breakfast cereal because it was the only thing her children had requested she bring them as a souvenir of her business trip.

Who knew that these were the first things that people thought of when they had the opportunity to receive something — anything — from Australia?

What this exercise has shown me is that sometimes it is the very minor things that we miss about home. And often we don’t even realise that we have a specific fondness for these things until we find out that we can’t buy them anymore.

How could you anticipate that you would have a favourite stock cube until you’re in a foreign country, unable to find a local equivalent?

Having never lived overseas, I have no idea what I would miss the most, but it would probably be something incredibly mundane like triple ply toilet paper or Diana Chan’s frozen Thai chicken dumplings. Very unlikely to be Peck’s Anchovette paste though, if I’m honest.