Siren call of tasty things

Raelene HallMidwest Times
Sometimes the chocolate in the fridge screams, ‘Eat me, please eat me. You know you want to!’
Camera IconSometimes the chocolate in the fridge screams, ‘Eat me, please eat me. You know you want to!’ Credit: Stacey Newman/Getty Images/iStockphoto, Stacey Newman

Did you know food can talk?

No really, I’m not pulling your leg. It can, and it does. For example, if I open my fridge, there’s this noise in my ears but there’s one that’s louder than all the rest.

It’s the damn chocolate. Doesn’t matter what kind/flavour/size it is, it has the shrillest voice of all the food. It literally screams at me, “eat me, please eat me. You know you want to!”. Other foods such as carrots, spinach, cabbage and capsicum don’t stand a chance against the chocolate. It could be because they are locked in the crisper while the chocolate is free ranging in the bottom shelf but, even if I open the crisper, the chocolate is still louder.

I’d like to say I’m one of those people who just refuses to do anything they are asked to, if I’m shouted at, but the truth is the chocolate gets the better of me every time. I mean anything for peace and quiet, right? It’s like with kids; sometimes you just have to pick your battles.

So in the interests of my sanity, and my ears, I demolish that loud-mouthed block of chocolate and some peace descends on my fridge. Somehow, the softer voices of the vegetables just don’t seem to bother me, and so the urge to move them from the fridge to my stomach never seems as urgent.

I have a similar problem with my pantry. As I stand with the door open, trying to decide what I’ll have for dinner tonight, the brown rice is gently calling me, saying. “I’m good for your health and you will feel so virtuous having me tonight”.

Meanwhile on the shelf below, where I’m trying not to allow my eyes to go, my ears are again assaulted. This time, it’s not the call of the chocolate but a more seductive whisper from the biscuits and cakes, “Why not just have one of us while you think about dinner? Better still, why not give two or three of us our freedom?”. Somehow, while my brain is still mulling over brown rice verses mashed potato for dinner, my hand has dipped into the biscuit tin and I’ve eaten at least three of those conniving little morsels.

Anyone got any suggestions on how to silence food other than eating it?

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