Pom in Oz: Can the pro-life and pro-choice sides of abortion debate still have respect for one another?

I suspect the issue of abortion will never go away. Neither the pro-life nor pro-choice side is ever likely to back down from positions of what they perceive as authority. I am pro-life. I believe life starts at conception and all life is precious. This was my belief before I became a Christian and it was strengthened because of it. I have heard all the arguments against my beliefs and to me they do not hold water, but I believe in balance and I want to ensure all sides are heard. So I spoke at length to a friend and former colleague Susan Jane about the pro-choice argument. As I stated, I believe life begins at conception. I try not to pass judgment when I hear of an abortion, but this is inevitable I suppose. Susan acknowledges the complexity of this issue. “The argument that abortion is taking a life and that life begins at conception is commonly brought up as the argument against abortion. Emotive language and imagery accompanies the claim, often with claims of moral superiority and judgement on the person seeking the procedure,” she said. “The reality is that the pregnant person is very aware of the life within themselves and recognises the toll it will take mentally, physically and/or socially. The decision to abort is not taken lightly, and many have reported the subsequent time after the procedure as one of grief.” I hope this doesn’t sound horrible but having spoken to a few people who have gone through this and seeing many, many programs on the subject, I thinks sometimes (and not all the time) abortions are not taken seriously enough. I think they are used as a form of contraception. Susan has a differing take. “Sometimes accidents happen, too often rape happens, and sometimes poor decisions happen — and the sperm breaks the egg barrier. The parent/s are already beating themselves up about it. Or in the case of a rape — already dealing with the severe mental consequences of having their trust violated. To further compound the already complex situation by lightening the gravity of the process by calling it “an easy option” is passing moral judgment on people who are already judging themselves hard enough.” I get so fed up of reading the “no uterus, no opinion” argument, that because you can’t give birth, you have no right to speak up, but you can be shut down, insulted and belittled. Sorry, but what about the fathers out there? What about the men who want to be involved but are shut out? And what about our moral obligation as a society to protect the innocent? To speak up for the people who can’t speak up for themselves. Can I not speak up over race issues because I am white? Can I not speak up on homelessness because I am a homeowner? I don’t need to be in the position of impact in order to speak up. Susan had this to say in response. “I believe it is important that everyone with a uterus should speak up — whatever their opinion for or against — because they are the person primarily affected by the situation physically and mentally. I also believe that all parties have the right to speak up — the father and the family surrounding the pregnant partner. I know that sounds the same — but not quite. Should versus can. If overwhelmingly women believe that they have the right to safe abortions then that should be the situation that takes place.” I think we could have talked for days and never reached a consensus, but we never expected to. However, we respect each other, and we can still look each other in the eye. But she does not agree with me and vice versa. But she doesn’t think I am a bigot and I don’t think she is hysterical. Yet I see these insults thrown around social media all the time. We need conversation, we need discourse — we need to move forward together. Derek Goforth is a teacher at Geraldton Christian College